mechanosapience: (Default)
[personal profile] mechanosapience
I never thought this would be so difficult. Actually, no, I did. I'm just fully grasping now. My icon is all too appropriate. Oh God, please make me a stone! What I wouldn't give for that, and yet my problems, or at least one of them, is the result of my desire to be free of emotions. As that is impossible, repression is what I end up with. I'm like a vulcan, only I add the extra layer of normalcy over the attempt at repressing emotion. Unlike vulcans, we humans consider repressing our emotions to be extremely unhealthy. I keep trying to drown it out with distractions; work, socializing, chemical aid. I need to talk to someone about this, but I need to process things into a metabolically inactive form. Aiai, not so simple. I really ought to get to sleep... I need sleep, but it is the last thing I want. I can never sleep if I have something on my mind. Just lying, trying to empty one's thought is extremely difficult when one's mind adamantly refuses to be still. So here I am, fucking about on the internet and watching Andromeda until I get sleepy enough that my mind is no longer an issue.

Date: 2009-02-20 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aslanscountry.livejournal.com
hi NX, I'm really sorry that everything sucks so much. I just facebookstalked you to try to figure out why. If it's what I assume it is this must be hitting you really hard. I'm really, really sorry.

My number is (203)247-7856 if you want to talk. things will be okay.

Date: 2009-02-20 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calledtovienna.livejournal.com
::hug:: I am here if you want to talk also. (I'll post the phone number in a separate comment) If, as above, it is what I think it is, ::double hug::. I have been in a similar state once. It sucks, but it is going to be OK.

Date: 2009-02-22 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eluminous.livejournal.com
Nicholas, I do get around to reading your entries eventually. We can talk about it sometime next week while you steal more of my chips and I live with your Nightwish obsession. I'll let you bring it up. ♥

Date: 2009-02-23 09:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wingnutsftw.livejournal.com
Sir, we will have to discuss this issue. I think that emotional repression and its unforeseen consequences is one place where I can decidedly help you out.

Date: 2009-03-03 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doomination.livejournal.com
You know, if you ever need to talk to someone who is entirely an outsider to whatever's going on, you can still always rant and vent to me.

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Mechanosapience

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